Free Write

Because we had each other before, so I let go
I thought that it was the right decision, so I let go

Because it's the past, so I don't want to face it
I thought it's the right decision, so I made the wrong choice.

If I look at myself, and face myself,
how am I going to explain to myself, 
about what I've done to myself?
Are thousands of "Sorry"s enough, to let me forgive myself?
Is it enough, to use thousands of "It's just a dream",
to convince myself that nothing happened?


I can close my eyes,
and fake that I didn't see anything;
I can close my ears,
and act like I didn't hear anything
If it's the best choice for myself,
then I'd rather treat myself cruelly.

I can't find myself, in a night
Lonely, in the crowd.
I want to open a window,
to let me breathe, 
but I just can't find the right keys and locks,
to open one, that leads me to the world outside.
my heart, not able to open, is making me unable to breathe.

Making things hard for myself, 
blaming myself for not being selfish enough
Stuck in my own world, 
how am I doing to leave all this?
The trouble I've given to myself, surrounds me
When can I just leave all these, and run without hesitating?